Abandoned?

“How do you know when God is present with you?”  It was just one of the questions raised from the newly formed Faith Formation class I am teaching to our older children at Bethany-Peace.

Others have asked the same question.  I have been asked this question by those who are in the midst of the pain of isolation and despair.  It is a question that you may have asked or may be asking right now.  It is a question I have asked myself on more than one occasion. 

This question, “How do you know when God is present with you?” was raised by the Faith Formation class in response to a recent sermon.  This is an indication that knowing when God is present is an issue that is not necessarily answered in a sermon or even in the singing of a hymn of assurance.  It is a question that cannot be answered with any level of satisfaction by sermonic platitudes, “triage theology,” or even testimonies of someone else’s faith experience.  Nor will it be answered completely by the words on this page.

Sitting with the honesty of this question and the emotions from which the question comes is the key to experiencing the truth of God’s abiding presence in our lives in and through all circumstances.  There is no question that when we ask this question that there are very real feelings of abandonment.  There is no question that these feelings are the result of having been disappointed, let down, betrayed or hurt.  It is also true that these feelings have resulted from within a relationship that was of great significance to us.  Someone, or something, in whom we trusted has not come through or is no longer available in a way that is comforting or helpful.  We are, in fact, abandoned.  The critical issue is who or what is gone.  We may be assuming that it is God who has left us or failed us.  This leaves us in what some have called “a crisis of faith.” 

It may be that we have come to associate many of the sources of our security with God.  While the sources of security may have arrived as messengers of God and expressions of God’s goodness, they are not God.  The very fact that a system would fail us, that a relationship would change or turn against our good proves that these things and people are not God.  Standing in the midst of the pain of abandonment we may realize that what we had thought God to be was not God at all.  It was what we had come to trust for deliverance, satisfaction or fulfillment.  We may have had our needs met effectively or been reasonable in expecting to have our needs met in these places but to assume this was God is a mistake.  So, the issue is what has failed us; who has abandoned us?  Looking carefully at this question lets us know that the source of our pain is something that certainly is no God at all. 

So, where does that leave God?  Our Faith Formation class came to rest in remembering that God’s covenant with us is that God is always present and there is not a time that God is not present.  When we understand clearly who God is and displace our illusions of who God is then it may become more possible to be aware or experience God’s promised abiding presence.  It is not God who has abandoned us but it is certain that God is with us in our times of abandonment.